Needs vs. Wants – You’re Doing It Wrong, Bestie

(as published in Rage Monthly, May 2022 issue)


After having trained clients for almost 11 years, I’m CONVINCED that most individuals’ health and fitness challenges aren’t only the result of poor exercise and/or nutrition habits; they’re also the by-product of the gray matter upstairs, their MINDS!

I know, I know – here we go again… Freddy IS an actual trainer, right? Does he ever talk about working out or carbohydrates? Or maybe diets and Drag Race? I am and I do (except I have yet to watch a full episode of Drag Race – go ahead, revoke my gay card), but hear me out!

Clients tend to fixate on losing inches, burning fat, and shedding pounds as if they’re doing yet another giant pile of laundry: annoying work, little to no satisfaction, only to have to do it all over again in a week!

Moral of the story? If you don’t change the behavior which creates giant piles of laundry in the first place (damn wardrobe changes), you’re always going to have giant piles of laundry! But, spend some time figuring out HOW to tackle it and your odds of success increase greatly.

Enter needs vs. wants.


What do a cup of coffee, a glass of wine, Drag Race, and the Kardassians all have in common? Nothing! Other than those who argue that not drinking the former two can result in a horrible start/end to the day and others who argue missing the latter two results in an incomplete life.

My point? Your life WILL continue, honey; you WON’T die by missing a cup, glass, or episode. Melodramatic much? I mean if me being a drama king helps my clients shift their perceptions and attitudes in favor of better exercise and nutrition, then I’ve done my job – I’m royalty!

First, let’s define need: “circumstances in which something is necessary, or that require some course of action; necessity.” To remain alive you ABSOLUTELY need breathable air, drinkable water, and (hopefully) palatable and nourishing food. That’s all!

And this has what to do with personal trainers?


Remember that movie “A Few Good Men” with Jack Nicholson where he asks, “You want answers?” and Tom Cruise’s character responds, “I want the truth!” Then Nicholson replies, “YOU CAN’T HANDLE THE TRUTH!”

Are you ready?

You have no “need” for a personal trainer. You SHOULD feel a need for better health.
You have no “need” for a diet. You SHOULD feel a need for healthier nutrition.
You have no “need” for a crazy workout routine. You SHOULD feel a need for regular exercise.

Still with me?

Since you feel a need for better health, you MAY want the help of a personal trainer’s knowledge, expertise, and experience. At the very least you should educate yourself on what’s involved with better health. Hint: healthier nutrition choices, regular exercise.

Since you feel a need for better nutrition, you MAY want to make healthier nutrition choices. Let’s face it, we KNOW what we should be eating more and less of. But, if you don’t feel you can do it alone and want to pay someone to tell you, then by all means, go for it.

And since you feel a need for regular exercise, it all comes down to you flipping that switch in your head from “off” to “on” and getting out there and wanting to move. Again, if you really WANT to pay someone $100.00+/hour to tell you what to do, hey, it’s a free country.


Many “needs” today tend to be “emotional fixes.” Think about what your TRUE needs are. (My previous article on “your why” and “goal setting” can help.) Once you’ve established those needs, determine what you WANT to help you achieve them.

Bestie, if you’re going to hire a personal trainer, hire one who doesn’t only look good in a tight shirt. Hire them because they know how to help you shift your thinking. Hire them because they know the true “magic” lies in how you think about and approach your health.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I WANT to workout because I NEED to be healthy. I also have a giant pile of laundry to do and want to watch Drag Race, but let’s not rush things.

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