BOM: We’re All Fam!

Blog of the Month – April

In full disclosure, a recent discovery call and some healthcare worker clients inspired and compelled me to write this piece.

It (should) be common sense that we all live distinctly different and separate lives, we were all born to different parents and we were each raised in diverse, non-identical environments. It’s entirely plausible (and common) for many of us to have/have had similar life goals and objectives to those around us, but those goals and objectives (along with ACHIEVING THEM) came about through a set of highly different factors and equally varied and complex thought processes.

Just think about that for a few seconds – and no, I’m not high or shrooming.

Basically, as wild as it sounds, we’re all random people doing our own random things; we’re all trying to make the randomness in our lives less random by creating and finding meaning – just like the random person who works in our building, the random person who lives 5 doors down from us, the random person on the freeway in the car behind you, the random person you see waiting at the bus stop, and so on.

Why do I think it’s all random? Because what we think, feel, know, and act upon is always going to be just a bit different than the next person because of all of the different circumstances and influences we’ve been exposed to over our lives.

I know, I know… Freddy… what the hell does this have to even do with me much less with “thatgaytrainer?!

Truth be told, I created “thatgaytrainer” because it was (past) time for my business to “come out.” My own personal coming out had already taken place 5 years earlier in 2016, so it was not only appropriate, but I’d argue that it was necessary for my business to follow suit.


Rewind the clock back to mid-year 2020 and you’ll recall we were out of toilet paper in the midst of a global catastrophe. So in addition to wondering what I was going to wipe my ass with, part of me was dealing with a personal reckoning having to do with my very unhealthy physical condition while the other part was trying to decide whether or not my business was even worth it anymore.

So I revisited the vision and mission of (the original) Level One Training and Fitness and that’s when I realized they were just too broad and general. During this same period of COVID-induced introspection, I discovered that there were no “out,” outright gay, nor “visibly” gay personal trainers in the San Diego – one of five major west coast cities!

Sure there are gay-owned studios and gyms, LGBT trainers associated with studios and gyms, and studios and gyms who are LGBT-friendly/allies, but there were none that I’ve found (thus far) who proclaim – in no uncertain terms – that they were in fact, gay / LGBTQIA+.

This bothered me. A lot.

I was not happy being just another random personal trainer.

These days it’s so important to have visible LGBTQIA+ representation not because of the “gay agenda” (bitch puhleez…🙄), not because people are more open and accepting (*scoff*), and not because it’s 2023, but because there JUST. ISN’T. ANY. If you identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, or another way, you know how good it feels knowing there are others out there like you (and me). Others who have an idea of what you’ve gone/are going through in order to just be who you are. And be 100% okay with it.

Since “coming out” as thatgaytrainer almost 2 years ago, virtually all of the clients that have come through my studio have expressed what a relief it was to actually find a trainer who identifies themself as gay. Whether they were doing a search on Google, reading one of my articles in Rage Monthly, or scrolling past something on social media, thagaytrainer was, well… gay.

Furthermore, since the rebrand, 95+% of my clients identify as either gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, and/or not out.

This is huge! If you’re fam, you just know. You know the crap we’ve had to deal with and/or continue to deal with on a regular basis – just because of who we are and how we identify.

We’re different. We think different. We’ve had to approach everything about ourselves differently than the majority of the population.

When it comes to fitness, thatgaytrainer’s space is a safe space for all lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, and/or not out FAM to come and learn about exercise and nutrition… from other FAM.

Fam gets it. We look at life through a slightly different lens. We have different struggles. Trust me, I was in the closet for THIRTY-THREE YEARS. Thirty-three years of suppressed emotions and feelings and actions. Our heterosexual brothers and sisters haven’t even the remotest idea of what that’s like. They can’t. There’s no frame of reference. And you know what? That’s 100% perfectly okay.

It’s okay that they don’t get what may be going on in our minds when we’re trying to figure out carbs, proteins, and fats. For some of us, being “fam” brings new meaning to those who “eat their feelings.”

It’s okay that they don’t get what may be going on in our minds when we’re trying to make ourselves look prettier in the mirror. For some of us, being “fam” brings new meaning to those who just want to be accepted; to be considered “attractive” despite our perceived differences.

What’s NOT okay is not having a non-heterosexual personal trainer who is visibly there for fam.

I get it.

I get the emotional eating. I get the body dysmorphia. I get those things and much more. I’ve lived them. I’ve lived through them.

And that’s why thatgaytrainer, me, Freddy, is here for you – my fam. I am here to dispense with the bullshit and nonsense running all over, in, and around the fitness industry.

It’s time to cut through all that crap and just simplify things as much as possible because Gaga knows, life is already plenty complicated AF.

I am here for you, my fam AND my straight fam AND the allies AND of course those who just love how fabulous we are – those who just want a completely different way of looking at health and lifestyle beyond what everyone else does.

So, I’ll do everything I humanly can to break it down for you, to empower you, to help steer you in the direction that will work the best for you and only you.

You have my word and you will always have my best.

Now let’s do this!

Scroll to Top