BOM: Talk to Yourself this Pride Month

Can you believe it’s PRIDE MONTH?! I swear it was just a couple of months ago that I was talking to clients about settings goals for the new year and here we are, almost halfway through it!

As we methodically cross each day off on the calendar – wait, do people still do that? We don’t? We need to start doing it again! – we really need to make more of an effort of taking charge of not just our days, but what we say to ourselves during those days.

The whole idea of “self-talk” is not a new, earth-shattering, groundbreaking concept. It’s been around for a LONG ass time! We talk to ourselves internally from the time we get up in the morning (“Just 5 more minutes.”) to when we notice the light on our fuel gauge (“Yikes, I need to get gas!”) right down to when we pick up our phones and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll some more (“Oh dear, just what is she up to now?”)

The part of self-talk many of us often seem to miss is when it comes to pursuing our dreams and our goals – make no mistake, I’m guilty of this as well! In our community, that self-talk can be drowned out by other voices which only appear to be louder… politicians, celebrities, news media, influencers, and the list goes on. In fact, it’s easy for many of us to get carried away by the thinking and thoughts of OTHERS, oftentimes it’s sadly at the expense of our own thoughts and feelings.

This is your friendly reminder that it’s okay to give yourself permission to slow down and even stop and step off the ride and spend time with yourself. Daydream. Think about your goals. Create a plan. Place your mind into a position where anything is possible for you to achieve. And when I say “anything,” I mean just that – anything.

Go on your dream vacation. Lose the extra 10 pounds. Finish the “never-ending” house project. Talk to the friend you haven’t spoken with in months (or years).

Get the new video game (“Tears of the Kingdom” 😍). A new car to replace the old one. An upgraded phone.

No matter what it is, how we talk to ourselves about each of those things is important to our being able to achieve each of those things.

Imagine if you said to yourself, “That’s impossible,” with each and every one of those things I mentioned above. Imagine if you said to yourself, “That’s impossible,” with getting your current job, getting your college degree, or a promotion; you wouldn’t do a damn thing OR you’d put very little effort into everything. You might pay them a little lip service, but you wouldn’t take yourself too seriously. Inevitably, goals and projects which would, under normal circumstances, be achieved in weeks end up dragging on for months or years.

There will always be something just a little more important which you’ll allow yourself to be distracted by. It’s human nature. It could be a demanding work schedule, family obligations, or even the allure of binge-watching the latest TV series. But here’s the truth: your dreams and goals are equally if not more important! They deserve your attention, your focus, and most importantly, your belief.

Belief in yourself is a powerful force. It’s that little voice inside you that says, “I can do this. I WILL do this.” It’s the unwavering conviction that no matter what obstacles come your way, you have what it takes to overcome them. Without belief, even the simplest tasks can feel like a lost cause. But with belief, the impossible becomes possible.

So, let’s rewrite that self-talk script, shall we? Instead of saying, “That’s impossible” or “I don’t feel like it” or worse yet, saying nothing at all and ignoring things, let’s replace it with, “I can make it happen. I WILL make it happen,” Rather than dismissing your dreams as just fantasy, embrace them as possibilities waiting to be realized. Change the narrative from doubt and negativity to hope and determination.

Of course, it’s not enough to just talk the talk. We must also walk the walk. Taking action is the key to turning dreams into reality. Break down your goals into manageable steps and take consistent, focused action towards them. Celebrate small victories along the way and don’t let setbacks discourage you. You may make forward progress for several months and suddenly find yourself taking two steps back, however the net overall effect is still forward!

Remember, progress is not always linear and it’s almost always never completely easy, but it’s your persistence and resilience that ultimately lead to success.

It’s also important to surround yourself with a positive and supportive environment. Seek out like-minded individuals who share your passions and aspirations. Engage in conversations that uplift and inspire you. And don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Building a network of allies who believe in you can make a world of difference.

Now, let’s address the elephant in the room: comparison. In this age of social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others; no one is immune, but we are definitely noticing the effects in our younger adults and teens. We see highlight reels and glossed over, virtually perfect photography. We’re captivated and mesmerized with social media perfection while we live our own behind-the-scenes moments. But here’s the thing: everyone has their own journey. Your path is unique to you and comparing it to someone else’s is like comparing apples to oranges.

Instead of comparing, focus on your own progress and growth. Celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they may seem. Remember that every step forward is a step closer to your dreams. And if you stumble along the way, don’t beat yourself up. Learn from the experience, adjust your course if needed, and keep moving forward.

As we navigate through the rest of this year, make a commitment with me. Let’s commit to speaking kindly to ourselves, to nurturing our dreams, and to taking intentional action towards our goals. Let’s drown out the noise of external influences and listen to the voice within—the voice that says, “You are capable. You are worthy. You can achieve anything you set your mind to.”

I dare you, take a moment today to reflect on your dreams. Close your eyes and envision yourself living them. Feel the excitement, the joy, and the fulfillment that comes with realizing your aspirations. And then, with renewed determination, open your eyes and start taking the steps that will bring those dreams to life.

Remember, while the destination is rather important, it’s more about the journey along the way, the growth, the experience, and even the setbacks. Embrace the process, learn from the challenges, and savor the small victories. Believe in yourself, trust in your abilities, and never underestimate the power of your own self-talk. You have the potential to create a future that surpasses your wildest imagination.

So, gurrrlllll, what are you waiting for? Let’s make this year the year of turning dreams into reality. The power is within you. The time is now. And trust me, before you know it, you’ll be looking back and marveling at all that you’ve accomplished.

Believe. Act. Succeed. The choice has been and will always be yours.

We’re halfway through the year! Share your goals, your victories, and your setbacks in the comments below, send me an email, tell me a goal, and then commit, you can do it!

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